I have today finally received my passport and can now travel to Italy with my mum, it has been such a pain to get it all sorted out, it started with my mum deciding that seeing as I was the only one out of her six children never to have been abroad that I can go with her to Italy to see one of my brothers, well it sounded so simple really, get the form, fill it in and send it off, wait for six weeks and I would have a passport, hmm as if anything ever runs that smoothly.

I got the form from the post office, filled in my part, took it to my boss to fill in her part, sent it to my mum because she wanted to fill in a bit as well as pay for it, she did that then took it to the post office for them to check it, they told her that no it needed redoing, which didn't please her at all, she took another form home to redo her's and fine parts, took it back to the post office and was told that it still wasn't right, so in the end after five trys the post office was happy but I needed it back my end of the country to sign and get my boss to do her part again, my mum sent it to my boss after ringing her to make sure that it was ok, then I waited two weeks for it to come back from my boss, then I signed it again, with instructions from Mum to post it off as soon as possible with all the relevent ID, the passport people got it on the 26th of April.

In the mean time Mum has been ringing, texting and emailing me to find out what is happening with it, I was also getting worried that my ID hadn't come back so on Wednesday the 4th June I phoned them to find out what had happened to be told that my ID would be with me that day and that I have a letter coming to ask me to phone up and make an appointment, they said that I needed to ring their call centre, the nice lady gave me the phone number that I needed to ring, seems like it was nearly sorted. I phoned the call centre, got a grumpy lady on the other end of the phone who informs me that there is one appointment for today, (no can do as it is to far to go in the time left to me), or I can have an appointment on Friday, which I say is fine thank you, she gives me the time and I think it is all ok.

Friday morning gets here and I am a bag of nerves as I hate interviews, hubby drives me the half hour drive to the interview only to find when I get there that the grumpy lady I spoke to made the interview for the Wednesday, which apparently is not allowed to do, so they tell me to go home, wait until the Saturday and phone up again, I was truly vexed by this point, hubby tried to cheer me up but to no avail, so once I had got home I rephoned the call centre, got a lovely man, who said that there was an appointment free for the following day (Saturday), which I accepted gladly, got up on the Saturday still a bag of nerves, hubby once again drove me the half hour journey, I go in to my interview, the ask me questions that I answer and ten minutes later I am ok to leave.

I get home email my Mum who is waiting very patient to hear what happened, then all we have to do is wait to see if the passport comes, which I was told if everything was ok would be within five working days, so fingers got crossed and everything, then today (Wednesday) my passport finally comes through the door, hubby was very pleased for me and phoned my mum straight away to let her know the good news, we will chat later mind you.

And all this hassle so that I can see one of my brothers, he on the other hand knows nothing about me going, Mum wants it to be a surprise for him, he has been emailing her to find out when she is going out there, she has stalled by saying that she had to renew her passport, lol I just hope that he likes the surprise, he is one of my favourite brothers, and because his girlfriend is Italian I have been trying to vainly learn Italian, but what with work and the stress of wondering if the passport would come through or not I haven't been able to learn much, but I still have a while hopefully before we go so I might be able to learn a bit more, I just thought it would be nice to be able to say at least a little in his girlfriends language, I don't want to appear rude and not be able to say anything to her in her own language.

Well that is the story of my passport trials and tribulations

Brightest blessings to you all

WiccanRebal

xXx

Brightest Blessings All

Well the sun is out and it is warm, which compared to yesterdays rain is wonderful, my step-daughter went home to her boyfriends home and is doing fine, so all is good at the moment, ah but for how long lol, I am a bit of a pessamist when all goes well, at some point something bad normally happens which is the way with all life.

I have been looking on all the job sites that I can to try and find a better paid job but to no avail, you'd think that it would be a bit easier to find a job but hey I can only but try, my main problem is that for over fourteen years I looked after my children, well I thought it was important to raise them and always be there for them, but the job centre seem to think that my time was wasted, which is nice of them, not, but now after having successfully raised the children I find that I would like a job that actually pays me so that I can live, lol I am not asking much, hence why I am a cleaner at the moment, at least it will show a recent work history lol, but I would rather another job, although what I want to do is another matter, lol I didn't know what I wanted to do when I had just left school I still don't, I focused on the children and now I still have no idea what I want to do.

I spoke to two of my boys yesterday, bless them, they always seem so busy, one has just got back from Belgium, he loved it there, the other was off not long after the phonecall to go to army cadets, he loves everything to do with the army, my daughter was eating her dinner lol I will catch her on msn, which is what I do through the week anyway.

I told off my cat Cinnamon today for deciding to wee by my front door, then changed his tray, he refuses to use the tray, but hubby doesn't like him going out as I lost my beloved Tinker (cat) when she went out at our old house and never came back, I cried for so long, so now hubby doesn't want that to happen again so won't allow our two cats out, I let them out mind you when he isn't home, and they always come back, but Cinnamon likes to let me know that he would prefer to go outside, our two rats also got a clean cage today, bless them, Merlin and Gandalf are lovely friendly little boys, although they are more my hubbys pets than mine, they seem to like dog treats at the moment, and really enjoyed it when we hung a apple by some string in their cage.

Brightest blessings to you all

WiccanRebal xXx

Merry meet All

Well it has been a sad day really, my step-daughter lost the baby that she was carrying today, she has been bleeding for quite a while, but yesterday went and had a scan, and they told her that the baby wasn't alive anymore, so today she had to go to hospital to have it taken out, my heart really went out to her, and although there was nothing that we could do to help her or ease the pain we went to the hospital to offer support to her in this difficult time, she was coping very well, she is a strong young lady, but it was still very difficult for her, it was hard on her dad seeing his little girl in pain and seeing her suffer like this, but her boyfriend will take her to his home to care for her and look after her which gives us some comfort. I know that everything happens for a reason but that is little comfort when things like this happen, she did say to me though, that at the beginning she had had dreams of the baby being a little girl, she was so certain that the baby was a girl that she hadn't chosen any boys names, but she said that in the past week or so she kept having dreams that the scan would show no baby at all, and she also had a dream that she went through labour to have nothing as well, so when she found out yesterday that the poor little mite hadn't survived she said she wasn't as upset as she would have been, she said the dreams had sort of prepared her for the worst.

If anyone is wondering why I titled this blog Rhubbarb, well through all of my pregnancies I gave all the children names, my daughter bless her was called Cedric, the boys all got boy names as well but I felt it was important to call them by a name rather than it or the baby, it helped when I wanted to talk to them, which I did all through all of my pregnancies, I did the same for my step-daughter, I called the baby rhubbarb, but now we will plant a mini tree to remember little rhubbarb by, which I feel is a good thing to do, it helps at times anyway.

Today it is raining outside and is pretty normal british weather for this time of year, I have just gotten off the phone from my children, whome I ring every week to check on them and make sure that they are all ok, they are busy as always, but well.

Brightest blessings to everyone

WiccanRebal xXx

Merry meet all

Wow I have managed to get on here again two days running, yay for me lol.

I wanted to write this blog today because it may help someone else, I was diagnosed with Asthma over thirteen years ago, I never really thought if there was another reason that I couldn't breath very well, but anyway, I received an email well over two months ago, it was about an asthma sufferer, whome while having a asthma attack was told by a friend to drink water, that maybe his body was trying to tell him that he needed more water, he tried it and it worked for him, now I found that I came to rely on my asthma pumps a lot, first sign of a wheeze and out it came, but this email made me stop and think, maybe I could help myself, anyway I started to drink about two litres of water a day, and I am now on day 37 of not using a inhaler, which I find amazing, cold water also helped me when I was very stressed and having trouble breathing, so I thought that seeing as I have tried it and it has helped me that I would put it on here as a blog, I do however still carry around a inhaler just in case the water doesn't work for me, which is just a precaution I'd advise anyone else to do, I hope that this gives hope to anyone else who suffers with asthma like it did for me.

As for hubby and me, we have finally found what made us happy in the first place, each other, bless him, he stopped me from harming myself when all I could see was the darkness, he gave me the light within myself and faith that I can do anything if I at least try.

Brightest blessings to you all

WiccanRebal xXx

Merry meet everyone

It has been a long time that I have been on here, I find it very frustrating that I can't get on here, my computer refuses to allow me to see the pages, but for some reason today I have managed to get on here so I thought that I would write a blog.

I have been married now for quite a while, and everything was so great for so long, but after a while it seemed that hubby and me were losing who we were together,  and we were really good together, always knew what the other was thinking and could end each others sentences and everything, but over just a short time we seem to have lost each other a bit, the one day I was looking on a site and see a face that I used to know from when I was just a slip of a girl, ah I used to adore this boy so much, but we parted on such bad terms that I never understood why, I was only young, it bugged me for so long not knowing what had happened and why, then just recently I got the chance to ask him what had happened, ah now this is where our history we shared seems to have changed a bit, I thought that he had just walked out on me, and didn't love me, then I find that my mum had decided that she didn't like him and had told him that he wasn't going to go out with me, and the fact that she tried to run him over in a car made his mind up to leave and never contact me, I was shocked but I know my mum for whatever reasons would have done that to him, I was so saddened to think that we didn't get the chance that we did deserve, anyway back to hubby and me, well I explained all to my hubby and everything about the lad that I knew, and I kept talking to the lad I'd known, little knowing that it was hurting hubby, I didn't see how he was so unhappy that I was chatting, even though I didn't hide it away, I made the mistake that I never looked at what was in my life at this moment in time, anyway, hubby and me had a row, he wanted me to leave, to go to my mums home, then changed his mind the next day, we said that we would sleep in different rooms, that the marriage was over and everything, now I find that we love each other so much that I believe that the reason that my old boyfriend came into our lives was to shock us into remembering about us, who we are together, how strong we are together and how unbearable it is when we don't show that we love each other every day, we nearly lost the one presious thing we have left in life, each other, I know that everything happens for a reason, and I hold onto that view today while I write this blog, we were slowely losing each other without even realising it, and if this old flame hadn't come into our lives we may never have got back to how we really felt.

I want everyone to know that life isn't that important if you forget the people in it who are also important to you, work, bills all of it means nothing if you lose the person that you hold dear by forgetting what they mean to you, I love my old boyfriend, but it is a different love to what I feel for my hubby, hubby saved me from myself, he made me strong, and without him I would be lost, I know that me talking to my ex hurt him, but I never meant that to happen, I loved him from the moment that I first spoke to him, I just felt we had lost the part of us that made us great, I didn't know how to repair the gap that was getting wider between us, little by little work and life were getting in between us, but now we are making up again, and finally talking again, I love you Dave xXx

Brightest blessings to you all, may you never let the one you love forget that you love them

WiccanRebal xXx